What may I do for you?”“Well, I bought an expensive woman’s electronic hair dryer for my Mother’s birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?”“I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.” “With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.” When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.The official asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare?” “From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.”The official thought this answer strange, so asked, “And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?” “I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.”Roaring with laughter, the official said, “Go ahead, Father. Next!”Definition :Trumping - the ‘art’ of talking through one’s arse.From a Friend of J & G.Three Irishmen are sitting in. We changed places because kevin wanted his face to be the first thing david saw when he woke up. After his eyes rolled back and forth a couple times he groaned and started working out the variety of terrible tastes clinging to his tongue, and not just from the liquor. When he realized who was sitting in front of him he groaned again. Then he realized he was almost naked, at first he tried to go back to sleep! He croaked out something like waddafuk, then kevin started talking. He called him a sneaky bitch, told him to try and be a man and ask for something, or least be a thug and come take shit face to face at gunpoint. Still better than being a sneaky bitch. Anyway he went on like for a while and finally got down to brass tacks. He said since you took from me without offering me anything in return, i took something from you...pictures!By now daves eyes were wide open and he was settling into an unpleasant consciousness. Kevin started flipping through Polaroids, yes it was that long.
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