I’m not a monster, Tom. Well, technically, I am.I guess I am.”-Jonathan Coulton, “Re: Your Brains“Leonard Whyte CBE paced around his suite as the sounds of gunfire and explosions thundered from one floor above him; in the La Contessa Suite at the Seattle Hotel de Società Finzione. He wore a blue suit, identical to the one he’d given the vagrant before sending him to his death the night before. This helmet was for his own use, though, and didn’t contain an incendiary device like the other one.There were still ropes hanging from the balcony of the suite above, down onto the balcony of his own suite, from the grappling hooks that the mercenaries had used to climb to the floor above and plant C-4 charges on the steel shutters that protected Contessa Helena de San Finzione from them about a minute ago.There was a frantic knock at the door. He picked up his pistol from the table. If the Ultimados had won the fight upstairs and figured out where he was this quickly, they’d have kicked it in. ” The way she said it sounded kind of weird, then she broke the news to me and told me she was from Gliese and had been sent to earth to observe our culture. She said “it’s kind of a student exchange program, we come here to study earth’s primitive culture and then we write a paper on our topic” for what you would call “college credit”. My topic is American sports that why I worked in the sports bar. I said “come on you must be crazy”. She replied No, an alien race populated both Earth and Gliese long ago and both of us are very similar because we are from the same species. The only difference is the location of my pussy. The reason my pussy is so high up on my stomach is an evolutionary change occurred that to increase our reproduction. When our men fuck us, sperm does not run out of our pussy like an earth girl does. Our mouths are also unique, you see on our planet married men “feed” their wives every morning with a “special treat” their “jumic” is what we call it. You call it.
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