I wonder what he would think if he really knew the real me and that I'mstuck in this female body and wish it were otherwise. I use hisdomination of me to gain some kind of sexual stimulation.It's nearly 16 years since I went under the knife but I still have a hardtime accepting what happened was correct or that I regret it all. Howeverit did happen and I have no choice but to accept it somehow to getthrough what remains of my life.Meeting his demands for me to be some kind of ultra feminine woman so onewill ever know I'm not a real one has helped. Because without his demandsI'd never have looked like this. I'd always been very plain and ordinaryinstead of the stunning looks I now possess.I can turn a man's head and make a man want me badly. The downside isthat this has a bad effect on my parents who think I am stupid and beingmanipulated by him. They cant see that I am using him in the same way heis using me. He's giving me the excuse I need to be this way. To be ableto wear my hair. I'm so sorry and hope your feelings won't ruin your holiday." Mom hadn't looked at me as she blurted this out and I could hear, in her voice, that tears weren't far away.I turned her face to mine and saw that there were, in fact, tears in her eyes and I pulled her into my arms and reassured her,"You silly thing! How could I possibly think that you are sluttish or disgusting? You're a very beautiful and sexy woman who finally let her hair down a bit after a long worrying time. Most women would have cracked under the strain you've coped with and we all love and admire you and think you're absolutely wonderful. Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, you do could change my feelings towards you. You're my ideal of a perfect woman, wife and mother and I love you with all my heart. Now stop all this nonsense and let's get on with enjoying ourselves the way we have been."The smile had returned to Mom's face and she reached up and pulled my head down to hers and gave me a long kiss. This was.
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