" He mussed her hair, placed one hand against the side of her face and wiped hard, smearing the make-up. He then jerked the third button from her blouse and rotated her skirt about 15 degrees counter clockwise. Looking at her carefully he pulled the right side of her blouse up and out of her skirt and after looking again, nodded."Now, ducks, ya look like someone who valiantly defended the castle against intruders. Ya stay here and stay quiet. No harm will come to ya, it's not you I'm after. When ya get released call your Da and tell him how much you miss him. I'm sure he'd like to hear from ya. Let bygones be bygones and get to know him again."Standing he pulled a revolver from under his coat. Not a snub nosed revolver but one with a 4" barrel and something bulbous on the end of it. Stepping to the door he turned the knob, set his shoulder against it and shoved it fully open. About half way he met some resistance but only momentarily as he stepped through the door and then to the. ." Sure," I nodded, thinking more about the money I spent than thewarning. "Money back guarantee, right?" I asked meekly as he handed methe book. He nodded and waved as I left the store."Good luck, Greg," the old man said before getting the store ready forhis next customer.---I sat at home with the spell book on the coffee table. I didn't knowwhat to do with it so I perused through and read some of the spells. Ihad no idea how any of these would help me get a girlfriend."Who wants to pull a rabbit out of a trans-dimensional portal in theshape of a hat?" I wondered aloud. "Or cut a woman in half withoutharming her?"I flipped through a few more pages as my roommate came in the frontdoor."Hey Greg," Mark greeted. "What you got there?" I've got a magic spell book," I said, slightly embarrassed."Oh, really?" Mark laughed. "Then why aren't we living in the lap ofluxury yet? Conjure us up some cash, some maids and a private jet." None of these spells are that useful," I frowned. .
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