Ironically, although she blamed herself and Mandy, she never blamed Ron. No, in her eyes, Ron had been the victim of her neglect and Mandy’s duplicity. It had been her fault for neglecting him and Mandy’s fault for seducing him. * * * * * * * * I need your arms to hold me now The nights are so unkind Bring back those nights when I held you beside me. * * * * * * * * Still holding the invitation, she went to the kitchen, where she tore it into pieces and threw it in the dustbin. Despair gripped her as she contemplated the wedding. A knife lay on the table, she picked it up feeling its sharp edge. It would be so easy. There would be freedom from the misery that racked her, there would be no lonely future, no Ron and Mandy to torment her with their new-found bond. The idea was tempting as she weighed the knife in her hand. Then with sudden resolution the knife came down, slashing first one wrist and then the other. She watched dispassionately as the blood spurted from the. If someone is stupid enough to try to takeadvantage of you then you must tell Derek. He will sort it outimmediately. Since I am taking over for Heidi I will handle your financesand make sure that you have a good allowance. Derek will pay whatevermoney you earn into my account."I was too stunned to reply. My marriage with Heidi had lasted for overfive years, two years of being her cuckold and three years beingfeminised. I know she often considered me an irritant and I knew that, inmany ways, I was just a chequebook for her. Nevertheless, the news thatHelen was taking control of my life still shocked me to the core. I feltthe colour drain out of my face as I considered all the upheaval thiswould cause in my life. The next news Helen gave me made me almost faint."You're so unobservant," said Helen, with a certain sharpness in hervoice. "Rob has knocked her up and he's leaving his wife for Heidi. Hedoesn't even know that she has three or four other lovers. All he knowsis that his wife.
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