I mean, like how embarrasing would that be?The coast is clear, I move down the isle and sure enough It's a mannequin,female, undressed a model with hair, a curley redhead. That seems odd.I've never seen a mannequin with red hair and I don't remember ever seeingone with curley hair either. Most that I've ever seen are bald or blonde.So I wonder if it's attached or a wig, I pull on it. Ow, who pulled myhair?! I quickly turn and find nobody, however I find it a little strangethat upon turning and abrubtly stopping my hair didn't seem to. I haveshort hair, like a #4 cut on a wahl hair cutting tool. So I freak out alittle thinking maybe I just got in a spider web, oh I hate spiders. So Ibrush my hands in a frantic move to clear my self of whatever spider maybe on my head only realize that this extra mass of fiber is not sticky,and thankfully does not contain an eight legged creature. However themystery remains, What the Hell just happened?! I inspect "my" hair. It'sred and. Would he die for me? I think so but as the Vietnamese woman once said, “The worse in the war is finding out what you will do to survive.”I do know he loved and loves me in the reality I know. I know, I loved and love him in his reality known. We gave each other wonderful lives even if our lives are different than what we believe.With my secret and perhaps his, we are apart but together, happily ever after-ing in our ersatz Camelot. So, we sleep, toss and turn, in our bed of marriage, omission lies.The secrets of my husband's biological father, my elder brother's illegitimacy, Mom's brothel imprisonment, her forced abortion, and especially my wantonness are specter ghosts who haunt my happy little kingdom’s perimeter. I stand guard against them, a burden I carry alone.I went to Maui on a pilgrim’s search for Mom’s pineapple plantation. It’s gone, remembered locally like the orchards of Silicon Valley but gone, now a subdivision of homes and other lives. Like Dad's Alviso, time and.
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