Here, it was the perfume of ass, old nachos and mildew. The apartment, if you could call it that, itself was a war zone- flung clothes and underwear (both male and female) a rug soaked in beer, whiskey and tarred cigarettes from back when Brown & Williamson were still in business, and furniture that the cast of Suburbia would deem gratuitous. And the music. I recognize it now being a vinyl version of Midnight Rambler by the Rolling Stones, blasting from the bedroom where I can also make out a squeaking, obviously the bed itself. I creep as best I can to not make a floorboard belch in pressure to the bedroom door. I also hear panting and yelping. These signs are not pointing to a good outcome. I open the bedroom door, open at the most one inch apart and look in a la Norman Bates style to the procession: From looking at a couple of pictures in the hallway as my backup, I see before me Uncle Sheldon plowing Zelda on the Serta Perfect Sleeper Mattress. (All we are concentrated on is. Because what she does is frowned on by the authorities in this town she likes to meet prospective customers and get a feel for them before she agrees to do business with them. So, you get to meet my love tonight at Mario's."Sam and I were sitting at a table in Mario's and we had been there, sipping beer, since a quarter to five. I noticed that it was getting close to five-thirty so I got up and went to the bathroom so I wouldn't have to get up when the woman got here. When I came out of the bathroom I saw that she had already arrived and was sitting at the table with Sam. From the back she looked familiar and the closer I got to the table the more familiar she looked. Sam said, "Here he is now." She turned to face me just as Sam said, "Bill, this is Daphne. Daphne, this is my good friend Bill."I stopped dead in my tracks and stared at my wife. It was almost a minute before I was able to speak and during that time several thoughts ran through my mind, but the bottom line ended up.
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