When we left the village we needed to find some place to hold up for a while. Josie needed some time to heal. She directed me to her folks' holding. The door was bashed in by the feral pigs and the inside of the cabin was a mess. I sat her down on a log and cleaned the place. I got her comfortably laid out on her back then we tried an experiment. "Close your eyes. Breathe deeply and evenly, in and out, in and out. Just listen to my voice. In and out. Now feel your hands. Feel the bones. Feel where the bones rub together. Now move your attention to your wrists. Feel the bones. Can you feel where the problem is? Make it like the other side. Gently suggest. Wouldn't it feel better if it was like the other side? Just keep it in your mind. Watch it heal. Watch the bruised tissue go back to normal. That's it. There. Now you can relax. Let sleep take you. Sleep."It was amazing. She had a good hand on healing. I watched the bones re-align and the swelling go down before my eyes. The bruising. .." and she started cryingagain.I started to bawl too. "Lisa, I'm scared...." Of what?" Of everything. Like I don't know anything anymore. Before all ofthis, I had a life. It may not have been a great one, but it was whatit was. I made a good living, I had a best friend, once in a rarewhile, I had a boyfriend. I had a nice existence. Now, I feellost..." and I bawled again.She came over and held me. "Let it out. What's lost?" Me. Brian. What the hell am I? I flounce around in heels andskirts. Kenny was right..." No, he was not right," she snapped. "He was wrong. And I'm sorryabout that too. I shouldn't have done it, but I didn't know better.But, once he showed his true colors, I should've put my foot downthen and there. I should never have let you two go out..."I smiled weakly. "Let us? Thanks, mom." Shut up! Yes, let you. You were so hard up, you let that assholecrap all over you. So, if being your mom would've stopped it, Ishould've been your mom. I blame myself. But, I still want to.
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