I focus on better, positive thoughts. On healthier imaginings. The other part of me is happy you no longer suffer. I couldn’t stand to hear you talk about the pain. It made me feel helpless, the simple words I had to offer seeming insignificant and paltry. The ache is eased simply knowing your pain is forever gone. I smile thinking of you reunited with your daughter. The daughter we all wanted, who left too soon. I can see you both, beautiful and happy, relaxing together in a warm, sun dappled meadow, finally at peace. I don’t know how long it will take for my pain to ease completely. It could be weeks, or years. I do know I will never forget you. There is a very warm and safe place in my heart, and perhaps even in my soul, that belongs to you. To your memory. You were the first woman I fell in love with. I wanted you in my life in a permanent and endless way. I will remember your gentle spirit. The obvious depth of your love for your children. Your name will forever conjure. Oh, I get it.” She giggled.“Song number 6, Maurice.” I threw him the score and he feverishly turned the page to number 6, and said, “You want 50, or 200 pieces behind her for this, Randall?”“Fifty will do,” I said turning to Carol. “You know this entire score already, right honey?”“Yes, you’re going to have me sing the Belle Reprise, correct?”“Smart and Beautiful, don’t you agree, Maurice?”“Yeah, Randall ... she’s got it all, you lucky sonofabitch. Remember Carol, keep it in head voice all you can.”Carol laughed and blushed, while Maurice started playing,BELLE “Madame Gaston. Can’t you just see it? “Madame Gaston. His “little wife”, ugh. No sir. Not me. I guarantee it—I want much more than this provincial life.”Maurice was pounding out multiple layers, sounding like a symphony. Carol opened up into her head voice, or falsetto, and I’d swear I was listening to an angel sing to me.“I want adventure in thegreat wide somewhere,I want it more than I can tell...And for once it might be.
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