Ann brought the photos of the twins from last week soJackie could copy the style, and colors. The day was uneventful, untilAnn mentioned the "party" last night! After Ann recalled as much as shecould remember, Jackie added her story, then Sindy spend most of thetime recounting how great her baseball player performed. Jackie saidthat that was not a party, but a down right "orgy!" Really, I thoughtmy performance was rather tame compared to Ann, and Sindy!We returned home just after 4 PM. Since we all did not get a realnights sleep, she admonished each of us to take a one hour nap, but becareful not mess our make-up and hair do's! I don't think I ever sleptfor one hour so soundly as that late afternoon. Rather than go to a"fancy" restaurant, and spent 2-3 hours waiting for service, Tom wentfor Chinese carry out, rather than go to for KFC, which would destroyour make-up trying to eat! As always, we had plenty to eat with a bitleft over. The next important item was getting dressed. Of. In addition to this hopeless love that I feel, I find myself seething with anger at the fact that not once yet has he said anything to the effect of "I love you" or "I still love you." When it seemed to be no problem for him to express it in secret before. Hell, I think even an "I miss you" would suffice but instead, it has been "I still care for you," which only make me feel even more ridiculous about the way that I feel as well as disgusted with myself for allowing this to happen in the first place. I feel so foolish for having allowed myself to be caught up in a tangled web that only turned out to be full of lies and unrealistic dreams and expectations. As hard has it is to explain and in spite of all the hurt he has caused, I still believe that he is the person I am meant to be with in this life. It is not every day that you find someone who makes you feel the way he has made me feel and as pathetic as it is to admit, I don't want to let him go. So, with that, I have decided to.
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