I complimented her on her garden and asked her how she got it that way. I was not prepared for the answer.Elizabeth said, “I do all of my gardening in the nude, I pee around it to keep the pest population down, and I use my douche to water it.”I recovered and asked, “Then you were the woman up in the window when I took pictures here earlier?”Elizabeth said, “Yes, I was. I’m an exhibitionist.”I asked, “Would you be so kind as to exhibit for me in your garden?”Elizabeth said, “I’d be pleased too.”I watched as she so gracefully pulled her dress up over her head, folded it nicely, and then placed it on a chair on her porch. I almost forgot to take any pictures. She grabbed her tray of gardening tools and a mat for her knees. I took several pictures of her pulling weeds and turning the soil around a rosebush. She peed at four corners before she ran out. Then I watched her masturbate and use a plastic bottle to douche herself out into a plastic bucket. She took that bucket and then she. And his sister bought him a new phone to go with his Fire. The whole thing reminds me of one of my favorite short stories, O Henry’s ‘The Gift of the Magi.’ I would summarize it for you, but if you have not read, you really ought to. I am sure in this day and age of computers and e-readers you can find it somewhere for free. Thing is that story was written well over a hundred a years ago, so I guess all this fuss about Christmas being too commercial is nothing new. And like the characters in that story, we have made it to the point of laughing about this fuss…mostly. So you know I love my sewing machine. And I will never forget the year that my older daughter brought her little brother over for Christmas. I do not want to sound ungrateful for those or any other wonderful presents, but this is the story of my BEST Christmas present ever. So what was it, you ask? I was six years old and as little girls do I had my first real crush. You know the kind…not on Donny Osmond or Michael.
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