I'll rage against the storm, scream at the walls and have huge conversations with people that aren't even in the room. It's interesting, don't you think, that when you're having a fight with someone that's not there, imagining their responses to your responses...you always win those fights.I shake my head and try to refocus my attention on something I'm unfamiler with. My feelings.What, exactly, are my feelings? I love her. I know that. I love her very...much. I know that, too. Another thing I know is that I am completely terrified of making love with Lisa.Ah. The crux.You see, in order to have a fully functioning adult relationship, you have to have sex. I mean, it's not a requirement or anything, but it does help. And it wasn't that I was a horrible lover or that I had a tiny dick that I was ashamed of...it was just the gnawing certaintity that I wouldn't be able to satisfy Lisa in bed.Getting up from behind my desk, I walk to the couch and lay down and put my feet over the edge.. You always looked like you were in charge of everything and didn't need or want anybody else."I laughed after she said that, "I was too scared to say anything. I thought you were super woman. You always came back with the prisoners and looked like you were in charge."After that we began to speak to each other about what our life was like before the dying began. I learned she was a freshman in college at Sacramento State and liked hip hop music and jazz. She liked to play video games and had been addicted to IM. She had been at her house that she shared with some other students near the school when she woke up with a splitting headache and then went back to bed instead of going to class. That is what saved her because the house was in a run down area that was being renovated. The houses and businesses around her had already been torn down to make way for a new shopping mall when the fire had burned down most of the city ahile she had been unconscious. She had met Laura soon afterward.
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