“You seem so sure you can help me discover the answers to the questions I have. I know Sam might have discussed it with you, but only after you expressed your feelings to him. If you were so sure you had something the others were missing, why didn’t you get put onto the team?” I knew I was being confrontational and perhaps even combative, but I wanted her reaction, her real reaction and not a rehearsed, prepared approach.She turned away, then got up from the bench and walked to the railing on the other side of the walk. Her shoulders were slumped, the professional confidence all but drained out of her. Before I got up to follow her, the bio I read a half dozen times replayed in my mind. Her young age for her accomplishments, Sam’s comment that she was having a difficult time finding her place, then Sam’s comment about us having things in common.I walked up alongside her, touching her hand on the railing. “I’m sorry, Dr. Moore. I shouldn’t have been so abrupt.”She shook her head as she. In my mind, Priya was the omnipresent, omniscient Goddess. No other girl could possibly take her place. Her presence in my head pushed all girlkind out of scope, out of question. She wasn’t just the one, she was everyone, she was the only possibility. Only I could understand this obsession.Another problem was the question of how I would express my desires to the girl, for they weren’t ordinary desires. In all the fantasies I’d written down in my dairies, I always imagined her possessing dominant, sadistic and cruel authority towards me. So my crush wasn’t a normal one- I loved her so much that I did not want to be her boyfriend. Rather, I wished to become her slave.I took a leave from college today, telling my Mother that I was sick. I did have a high temperature in the morning, but that was never such a big deal. I might as well sit in class, hang out in the canteen with my friends and get well eventually. The fever wasn’t something that crippled me into inaction. In fact, that.
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