There was blood and semen all over my legs and bed, I was in pain. The door banged open “Clean up this mess you slag, and if you say anything to Carol or Jasmine your sisters next.” I couldn’t say anything, he had me under his control. I was struggling with anger and hatred and was emotional and tearful too! I felt useless. When my Mum and Sister returned I said nothing. “You ok sweetness,” my mum enquired, I nodded yes. The next day I dressed in some more new clothes my Mum had bought me. This was a simple yellow sun dress with a white scalloped hem and silk buttons all the way up the front with a fabric belt tied in a bow on the back and flat strappy sandals, I wore my lemon yellow bra and matching panties, and tied my hair in a high pony with a yellow ribbon. I was becoming good at this and almost did it as second nature! My Mum was alone so I thought I should raise my return to boyhood. “Mum its only two weeks now until I’m going back to school…as a boy, and we were also going. I hurriedly took the bike and hit it from view in the back garden and knocked on the back door. She opened the door in her dressing gown and stepped aside to let me in, closing the door behind me and locking it. A promising sign that she doesn't want any sudden interruptions I thought. I went to hold her and kiss her but she pushed me away "in the lounge Sam". I led the way in to the lounge where the blinds were drawn and took a seat on her leather sofa not knowing what to expect next. She sat opposite me and fixed me with a stare."No one is to know what happened last night Sam" she said. My heart sank and all my earlier anxieties came rushing to the surface. "And no one is to know of ANYTHING we do together from now ok?". Relief like I'd never felt in my life before filled me as the word "of course Lise" spilled from my lips. "I mean it Sam- no one. Not your school friends, not you sister and especially not your Mom". I looked straight into her eyes "no one will ever know anything.
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