But he sure was arrogant. Howcould this man possibly know?As Tim wandered away mumbling I realized what I was doing. I wasstyling the rantings of a mad man to fit into my delusions.He didn't know me, and he certainly didn't know Alex Turner. There wasnothing in my false memories of an encounter with this man as DrTurner, and I'd overheard staff saying that this was Tim's firstpresentation.I needed to stop this. Pulling random things from the real world intomy idealized one. I would never get better until I ceased doing that.*******In my next session with Dr Black I confessed how I was still lettingsuch influences distort my recovery.For the first time in our 6 days of therapy his face darkened in mypresence.He wanted to know all about what Tim had said and why, even dragginghim in to ask him directly.But the big doses of Olanzapine had kicked in and Tim, now extremelysedate and muted, appeared to have no recollection of saying any of thethings he had; and further seemed very unclear. She didn’t berate or criticise, preach or otherwise demean me, just listened. When I finished, she said, “That sounds demonic to me. It’s certainly a reaction to the presence of the Spirit in you. I’m afraid I can’t offer to visit her; she isn’t a parishioner and is a member of another church. I’d recommend you call your pastor to visit her...”“I’m afraid he won’t be much help,” I said. “This is all well out of our experience and doesn’t fit in with our theology. Our church’s theology ... doctrine.”“Dispensationalist?”“Sorry?”“Dispensationalism is a theology which teaches that the miracles and supernatural gifts displayed in the early church ended with the passing of the Apostles. That we’re in another dispensation.”“Ah! Yes, exactly.”“There are various ways in which Christians excuse the lack of power in their lives. That’s just one of them.”I sighed. “I ... well, I never questioned the teaching at church. And I never expected anything in this life, just heaven in the next.”Dulcie.
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