Lips of brown from a Fudgcicle she sucked innocently. ‘I’m Carla. You’re Bill, Bessie’s grandson who lives here now. You’re twenty-six and working on your Master’s in English at the University. You’re a writer, too, but you’ve never published anything. You’re single and you don’t have a girlfriend. See. I know all about you. Can I come in?’ She bounced by me to spend the first of countless delightful hours. Creaking, the rusted hinges on the door of my heart began to open. Carla at fourteen slammed the door behind her. Angry eyes, perturbed expression. Sweatshirt hiding budding breasts. Shorts revealing long legs starting to ripen. Brown hair, slightly curled, to her shoulders. ‘I hate boys.’ ‘Why?’ Hands on hips, eyes flashing. ‘They all want to play with me. Do I look like a toy to you? Well, Bill, do I?’ How do you talk about love, about sex, to a beautiful young woman starting to blossom? How do you talk about those things you desperately want to share with her? Carla at. Her parents still thought she was only running out theclock at the airline to avoid rousing suspicions about the book. Theystill thought that she secretly hated being ?Sophie?, and was onlyliving her life for work only. They?d never met the friends that shetruly loved, had never met ?Sophie?- and had never even seen ?her? inthe flesh. And as dyed in the wool Thatcherites, Sophie shuddered tothink what they would think about their son pulling on a dress and heelsand leading a trade union...However, as Sophie often rationalised to herself, her life was her own.Not her parents?, not her friends?, but hers, and she was free to liveher life however she wanted. And she wanted to help her friends. She?dwritten the book in part to help her friends, she?d immersed herself infemininity in order to help her friends, and she was at the meeting tohelp the friends that she loved- especially Rachel. Sophie remindedherself that what happened to Rachel shouldn?t ever happen to any woman,ever. And she.
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