Before I was usheredout of the dressing room I was wearing little straw sandals with astrap on them and a yellow flower decoration on the toe.The sales lady was awaiting our return and as Diane and I stood side byside she Oohed and ahhhed and said, "My such a beautiful set of twins.Now don't you feel better and more like the pretty little girl you arein that dress like your sister?"I wanted to tell her I wasn't a girl. I'm a boy. But Mom said I wasgoing to be a girl. Would my pee-pee go away and would I get a holelike my sister had if I had to wear girl's clothes? I was embarrassedbut didn't really know why and then I just burst into tears.Mom just pulled me to her and said in a comforting tone, "Now, now Danadon't cry. You look very pretty in your dress and well still get yousome shorts and pants to play in. You won't have to wear dresses allthe time but I'll bet you'll get to love them as much as your sisterdoes."My sister came and standing right in front of me reached out. It had felt so utterly awesome but did I want it to happen again? My mind just wouldn’t let it go. Dinner that fourth evening was a little strained with just the minimum amount of conversation. Finally, I could stand it no longer. “I need a bath tonight daddy.” I mumbled, keeping my eyes downcast, barely breathing. Face beet red. My heart pounding. I could feel my father’s eyes on me, still I refused to look at him. He put down his fork and cleared his throat. “Uh… Cynthia. We need to talk about what happened. What I did to you last time was wrong. I mean, like, it was against the law. I am very ashamed of myself. You are a very beautiful girl and I am a man. If I were to give you a bath again I don’t know if I could control myself. Maybe we need to bring in a nurse to do it.” I was stunned! What was he saying? He didn’t want to do what we did before? Was he telling me that he was afraid that he couldn’t control himself? A hundred emotions flooded my mind. I decided to go for.
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