I recover. ‘You were married, then. Divorced?’ ‘No, widowed. A form of brain cancer took Helen.’ ‘I’m so sorry.’ ‘Don’t be. We had a good life together. I only wished I enjoyed it more. One day, I walk in the door on a wonderful summer night and she tells me she went to the doctor and there’s a problem. By Christmas she was dead. I spent a year mourning her then woke up the following Christmas Day to Joy to the World on the radio and decided to get back to living.’ There’s a glimmer in his eyes that’s truly beautiful. I’m lost in them. I see my hand reach up and do something I’d never done before. I cup his right cheek and with the tips of my index and middle finger play with the silver hairs at his temple. He doesn’t pull back but smiles. After a few moments, he takes my hand in his and kisses my palm. It’s a gentle whisper of a kiss. ‘Thank you,’ he says. The waiter interrupts us. He puts down the mole sauce and tacos. ‘And kids?’ I ask. ‘Yes. Two. They’re all grown up,’ he says.. I looked at the clock, I was supposed to be to work at 8 AM. Still nude, I slid my legs out of the bed and sat on the edge. Then I felt his breath on my hair, I smelled the hint of sweat and the smokes he tried so hard to hide from me. ‘No hurry!’ his voice said. ‘No hurry at all!’ ‘Ted?’ I asked, almost in a daze, as I sat with my head tilted forwards, fully expecting his hands to brush and stroke my neck and shoulders. I got up and took the pill that Sally at the clinic prescribed for me, it helps. I know I will need them for awhile, they are simply a very mild tranquilizer. Then I will do as my man said, the silliness is gone now. I will go live, and one day I will find another man. I know it is what Ted would want, I know there is another out there somewhere. This part is two days later: The only man who ever managed to be able to tell me what to do, told me what to do! He did it nearly a Month after his death! Laugh at that if you like, but if anyone ever does manage to end up.
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