He mumbled something, got unsteadily to his feet and tried to walk away with some dignity left. Jandaeng turned to watch him leave and then turned back to me. ‘I haven't seen you here before, what's your name?’I didn't want to tell him Jamie as that was too close to the truth. Panic lent me the imagination to say, ‘You can call me Scarlett.’I heard Nin stifle a sound and Jandaeng turned his head towards her like a T- Rex sensing its prey. He said something to her and she went pale, got up and left, casting an anxious glance back over her shoulder. ‘Scarlett? Actually I will call you whatever I want.’ He played with the word for a bit, ‘Like in Gone with the Wind?’I nodded and he sat down opposite me.‘Be my guest, what do you want me to call you?’ I said, hoping my fear wouldn't be heard in my voice.‘My name is of no concern to you. Where are you from?’ ‘I'm new here, from New Zealand.’ It was as far from England as you could get.‘You sound English, not from New Zealand.’‘Private. It filled me with such optimism tothink that we could be there for each other. A great sort ofsymbiosis. No matter what was to come I felt heartened by thatthought. With Kristi to help me I felt I could survive most anything.It would turn out I was wrong about that.Even with Kristi's love and support, some things are simplyunsurvivable.***I was 16 weeks and 3 days.It's not like you obsessively count every day, you just naturally markthem off one at a time. At least that's what I did.I was in charge on an early shift, whilst Kristi was the High acuity/resuscitation lead nurse. When we were on together, which was now justoccasional rather than religiously enforced like it was in the earlydays, we'd take it in turns at being the boss.As two of the more experienced nurses we were separated mostly forskill mix purposes, but we still rigged it that we were together atleast once a fortnight, if not weekly.My extra shifts also helped us double up more too.It was a busy shift but nothing.
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