"So you know." Yeah, but don't worry, I don't mind and you are looking awesome.Honestly, if Gab hadn't told me I'd taken you for a chick." Thanks," I said shyly, and we started to talk about London, Gab and thegirls and his work as a ballet dancer. It was nice and relaxed until hesuddenly asked,"Irene, are you gay?" Of course not," I snapped, "I like girls." So that makes you a lesbian," he chuckled, "face it, Irene, you looklike a pretty chick in every detail and the way you dress and how youmove screams SEX to every guy."I tried to explain that I was just fascinated by the transformation intoIrene, that it made me feel good being her and that I wanted to go allthe way to feel 100% feminine."All the way?" he said with a mocking smile. I blushed and fell silent.He checked his mobile. "I have to go in fifteen minutes, but I reallywant to dance with you before I go." He took me to the dance floor.Mike was a pro of course. I tried to follow his moves as best as I couldand I really liked. .”“I’m sorry!” I shouted, my heart breaking. And then quietly, but with urgency I added, “I cheated. I’ve said it before. I’m sorry. I am. How many ways can prove it? How much louder do I need to say it for you to hear it? I’m sorry.” Matthew stood over me and cupped my cheek in his hand, looking sober, almost kind.“I believe you are.”“Please forgive me.”“No,” he said. His face hardened, crushing any hope his tender hand on my cheek might have conveyed. “I’ll never forgive you. We’ll never be the same. We’ll never have what we had before. You shattered that completely, but I’m tired of this, too.”“Oh God, Matthew. I…” I choked up, tears forming. He sounded to much more final than I did. What could I say to that? “Can’t we talk it through?”“Talking. That’s what you want. Your way,” he said, “I want something else entirely.”The floor drop away from me. I was falling. He did mean to end it. To leave me.“You want to leave? If you want to hurt me, that’s the worst you can do. Being away.
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