She went into the bathroom and soon came back dressed in a nightgown. I went in later. By the time I came back after the shower, she had some kandha poha (puffed rice) ready. We ate silently. I too was overcome by the sombre situation and could not eat much. We got up washed our hands and cleared the table.It was a three bedroom flat. My uncle and auntie slept in one. My grandparents in another. The third bedroom was locked and we had the key to it. We opened the room and there was a double bed. Mom simply went in and switched on the fan and lay down. I walked back. Mom called me, “Adi, there is no other place. You can also sleep here. After all it is just for a few hours and I am hardly going to get any sleep”. Without saying anything, I went in too and lay down. Mom switched off the light.It was a pleasant night, but neither of us could sleep. We were tossing and turning. After about an hour of this mom softly asked me, “Everything will be alright na Adi? She asked in such a small. It was she who had encouraged me to take up nursing when I left school, and it was she who had helped to support my studies at nursing college.I really don't know whether it was this loss that started me having sex without any strings - without any feeling of commitment or needing commitment, or without any sense that this might be the man who might be my future husband, but it was just after the funeral on September 30th that I guess I could say I had my first casual encounter with a man. I went back to Aunt Natalie's house straight after the funeral and got talking to a friend of my Aunt's. I guess he was about 50. He'd been a co-worker at the office where she worked, and I suspected that he might also have been a lover. Aunt Natalie had never married. He certainly seemed very upset by her loss, and as we talked on the front terrace of her house he took my hand and I comforted him.And it seemed quite natural for me to comfort him in any way I could. Words didn't seem enough. I.
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