Don't be afraid. I have waited such a long timefor this, and really, so have you." I don't understand. Waited for what? What on earth is going to happen? Myheart skips a beat and I let out an involuntary gasp. The voice cracks like a whip. "Stop it!" And I do. A frown creases her forehead. "You have just perfectly illustrated the reasonI am here. You have no control, little self-discipline, no plans, no aims,and no goals. I am going to give you these. Take off your coat." I am already bridling at this snap assessment of my life, true or not, butmy anger is still flavoured with fear. I am way out of my depth here and thecoat has already been unbuttoned and is slipping off my shoulders before Ieven realise. I am shivering in the cold night air, my coat in a heap at myfeet. My shallow breath streams in a cloud of vapour into the night air. Hers,I realise, does not. "I want to see more." I grit my teeth and try to fight, but it is as if my body is no longer myown. My fingers fumble at. When I woke up I text Sam saying we needed to talk which she agreed and told me about James and the others going to the internet cafe and I text Sam back asking to text me when their gone. But then James her son rang me about going to the internet cafe and I said no cause I had to do something knowing really I was gonna go to his nan's house to speak to his mum after we had sex together. Sam text me saying their gone. Instead of me going through the back gardens cause we lived right next door to each other, I didn't I went right round for some odd reason. When I got there I buzzed at the door where Sam let me in and she was on the phone to one of her sisters. So we both went into the front room where both her daughter's are. When she finished I sat on the arm of her chair where we spoke and we did share a couple kisses and Sam said to me John you was alright for your first time, I said to her I know I wasn't all that cause I've only got a small willy and Sam said it doesn't matter.
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