What jobs were available were impossible for me with my lupus. Yeah, I know, almost all the people with lupus are female, but that just makes it harder on guys like me. For those that don't know, lupus is an autoimmune disease, sort of the opposite of AIDS where the immune system begins to attack itself. That results in inflammation, and eventually tissue damage.I watched my would-be customer turn a corner and turned back to the woman named Rose."Thanks..." Don't thank me. I just didn't want to lose one of my better customers."My stomach rumbled. "Well thanks anyway, I'm awfully hungry but I guess I'm not hungry enough for tube steak; are you going to buy me breakfast or keep that all for yourself?"She smiled, hooked her arm in mine, and led me to a Village Inn where she ordered breakfast for me. While we waited she pulled my life story out of me... Parents killed in a car accident on New Years Eve. Dad was over the legal limit and the insurance company refused to pay. I didn't have. My heart raced as my mind tried to process his words. Did I feel the same way? I knew that I liked him, a lot. I didnt want to lead him on. But I didnt know if I was capable of being enough of what he wanted. I didnt know if I could be good enough for him. When, or even if, we ever had sex, could I satisfy him? Would he be disappointed? I was definitely not a virgin, but the only guy I was ever with was Travis. Wed had sex, but it was never really anything special for me. It was like a chore, and I never really wanted it, let alone enjoyed it. Did I have enough experience to please him? I couldnt stand the thought of falling short of his expectations. I tried to shake it from my mind and concentrate on whether or not I wanted to be with him. Kyle, I&hellip, I dont&hellip, I didnt know how to continue. I bit my lip. Are you sure that you want me? Are you sure you wouldnt prefer one of the hundreds of girls fawning over you? I just dont feel like Im&hellip, good enough for you. I.
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