I entered the room to find a nakedBecca toweling off her hair in front of the full-length mirror. My eyesdarted around the room looking for my wife. I was panicking and notknowing what I should do; turn and leave the room or cover my eyes andapologize for coming in on her like this. “Hi, Carol is still in the shower,” Becca started telling me, “shewanted to wash her hair after she helped me with mine. She’s so sweet.”Then she dropped her towel on the bed and walked toward me. “You’re bothso sweet to take me in like this” and she wrapped her arms around me andhugged me deeply. My mind was swimming. Here I am in a hotel with a 15-year old nakedgirl hugging me close to her teenage body while my wife was six-feet awaytaking a shower. And, wait!, did she say that my wife had helped her takeher shower? Visions of the two of them naked and soaping each other upfilled my head and supplied even more b***d to my other head as well. . .. slave, for lack of a better term. I initially sought help and advice from my parents, but they thought Miles walked on water; interesting since Waters was his last name.” She chuckled. “It turned out that Miles was Satan in disguise.”“Well Miles built himself up as he tore me down. He made me think that the only identity I had was through him. He made me feel guilty about every thought I had and everything I did unless he approved ahead of time. He’d come home at the end of the workday and I was expected to confess all my thoughts to him, especially the erotic ones. At first, I didn’t have any; I didn’t think that way. But then, after he’d browbeat me, I realized that to make him happy I had to have a few erotic and sexual thoughts every day, but he almost forced me to make it seem like I had many of them all day long every day. I had to be able to talk for hours about what I’d thought.“If I said nothing, he’d come after me in so many ways. I would end up feeling bad and depressed.
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