The ghostly pale head honcho in the long black frock coat and top hat is pointing a transparent boney finger at the first of the congregation out of the traps, to take over the coffin carrying. Bloody hell, what if he picks me? I duck down as quick as a reverse jack in the box and tug on the lace of my right shoe, fingers fumbling with the stiff black cord. ‘Need a hand there?’ For the second time in an hour those vampy tipped fingers cover mine, one tug and the knot on my shoe is unravelled and lying, lace ends akimbo, on the dusty ground. ‘I get the heebiejeebies carrying coffins too. C’mere and I’ll do a double bow on this, yer man will have found enough volunteers by then eh? I’m Ruth by the way, I don’t know you, do I? Are you one of the Rafferty’s? You’re tall and fair like the Rafferty’s’. ‘Mark. My name’s Mark, hi, lovely to meet you Ruth.’ The double bow tied, I take her hand and give it yet another firm shake, in flirtation this time, not in peace. A quick glance up and I. ” That’s when Randy and Barb walked in. They joined us on the patio after hitting the refrigerator for beers. It was pleasant outside, so Randy dropped his clothes in the kitchen and wore only his jock. Barb stayed dressed – for the moment. She asked if we had any cardboard and a marker. Not sure what this was about, Randy retrieved them. Barb made up a sign and stuck it to the wall. “Pants Free Zone.” A few weeks later, she replaced it with a wooden sign atop a stake. It’s still there. We got introductions all around. Barb looked at Paul with mischief in her eyes, Paul said he was hoping he would have a girlfriend shortly. “Well, shit,” said Barb. She unceremoniously stood up and removed her sports bra and cutoffs. No panties- this was a treat. “I was hoping to do a real sexy strip tease for you, but not if you’re unavailable.” “What about for me?” I asked. She looked me up and down, and then frowned. “You’re probably a nice boy, but frankly I prefer guys who work out a lot. And.
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