I’ve never done this sort of thing before. Still, it’s more interesting than exercising in the gym.”“I expect to have the path cleared this afternoon, but it’ll take a day or so to actually tidy up the wood, get it into store. The small stuff we can leave in the woods for little critters to live in, but there’s a lot of firewood there.”“No kidding!”Sally appeared with a tray, poured a latte for Lisette and herself, a cafe noir for me, and settled down on her knees to lean against my legs. I sipped my coffee and stroked her head; such a satisfying feeling, both tactilely and emotionally. I happened to glance at Lisette, who had a curious expression, part thoughtful, part sadness.When we went back to work, Lisette tackled cutting up small stuff with loppers and piling it out of the way, while I got on with cutting up the trunk. It was only a couple of feet in diameter, but even so that was quite a task. Before the end of the afternoon, though, I had a pile of log rounds to split, and. Like coming down from a horrible drug high or a sugar rush high. I started weeping. I’m lying on your chest with my eyes closed, listening to your chest move up and down, resting from exhaustion and I hear your fingers tapping away on the phone. I open one eye to see what you were doing. And I see that you are texting Laura.’ Thanks for calling. It’s like Vancouver. Love you.’ I close my eyes and pretend I didn’t see. But I did see and I am ashamed for feeling betrayed as I lay in your arms. The logic side of my brain is telling me, why are you having a reaction to seeing such intimacy, after all, Laura did call earlier and you were responding to her call. Why would the act of seeing you do so, upset me so? But it did upset me and I began to feel empty side, very empty. What am I doing? Why am I doing this to myself pretending that the sex is going to make me feel better? I will never have what you have with your wife. The intimacy I long for. I know that what you lack in your.
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