But if he were able to find a cure - to produce sperm of his own and get them inside of me - I might not be a willing participant in the process.In fact, I would want him to take the decision out of my hands.I know exactly what it would feel like. He almost did it to me a few years ago, when we thought that we could get pregnant by ordinary means. However, he pulled out at the last second - a decision that made me furious at the time; a decision for which I have chewed him out many times in the intervening years.But - as much as I hate to admit it - it was the right decision at the time.Now, however, he knows that I really do want him to take the decision and that I will gladly live with the results. As long as it's his child, if he wants it for us, if he feels that we could be good parents, if he is willing to make the decision for me, that would be enough for me. I would accept his judgment - after the moment was over.But if it ever happens, in the moment I will be scared out of my. The two looked like a pair of nodding dogs. ‘Yeah. And that would have to be if she shaved her head, or had a tit mauled off or something.’ ‘Whatever.’ I shrugged their words off. Wishing we were talking about anything but her. Richard took several gulps of his pint then put it down in a very philosophical manner. ‘Listen man, we aren’t trying to fuck with you here. It’s just food for thought. In our eyes, Lottie is your girl and we or any of the other lads would never encroach on that. But if you don’t act, one day someone is going to come along and take her away from you. She won’t wait forever.’ ‘She’s not waiting for anything.’ I snapped back, a bit too sharply. Neither spoke, and after a moment I realised I’d gone too far. ‘I’m sorry.’ I muttered in apology. ‘It’s okay, man.’ Harry pulled an apologetic grin. ‘We asked for that. Anyway…’ And the topic of conversation changed. If I’m honest I don’t remember much of that conversation as I wasn’t particularly engaging after our chat.
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