, for not appearing too much in the thing herself, sent a friend of her’s, on the day appointed for my removal, to conduct me to my new lodgings at a brush-maker’s in E—— street, Covent Garden, the very next door to her own house, where she had no conveniences to lodge me herself: lodgings that, by having been for several successions tenanted by ladies of pleasures, the landlord of them was familiarized to their ways; and provided the rent was paid, every thing else was as easy and commodious as one could desire.The fifty guineas promised me by Mr. H...., at his parting with me, having been duly paid me, all my clothes and moveables chested up, which were at least of two hundred pounds value, I had them conveyed into a coach, where I soon followed them, after taking a civil leave of the landlord and his family, with whom I had never lived in a degree of familiarity enough to regret the removal; but still, the very circumstance of its being a removal, drew tears from me. I left, too, a. She asked: “Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?”Maria: “Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze.”“The first is that I iron better than you.”Wife: “Who said you iron better than me?“Maria: “Jor huzban he say so.”Wife: “Oh yeah?”Maria: “The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you.”Wife: “Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?”Maria: “Jor huzban did.”Wife, increasingly agitated: “Oh he did, did he?”Maria: “The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in the bed.”Wife: really boiling now and through gritted teeth “And did my husband say that as well?”Maria: “No Señora...”The gardener did.”Wife: “So then, how much did you have in mind?”Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don’t really give a rat’s arse anymore ... If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal ... A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat ... A rabbit runs and hops and only lives.
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