He said yes..When we agreed to Saw my dick and then ravi will pleasure me… ravi took me into bathroom. I did take out may jeans but Underwear was on ravi was looking right on my dick and then he slowly moved his hand to my dick.. he pressed and squeezed it once. He said your dick is so big and thik lets put that out of underwear. And all of a sudden he dragged down my UW. I was naked, I was feeling uncomfortable and shy at that moment then he band down and stared playing with pubic hair, then I said “shall we get back to room now, I saw u what u wanted to.” but he refused and replied “I have not done the pleasuring part” and then he started masturbating me.I was moaning my dick got real hard, he stared licking and sucking all over I was not expecting any of these from ravi but I was enjoying the moment nobody had touched me in a way before it was my first time and ravi was really good sucker. I told me that I will cum in a moment so he stopped and started giving hand job, I came on. He was in fact, correct. In my heart, I had killed God. Nobody is home or on the throne.It’s a liberating, yet lonely thought. All my life, I have been told of a loving Father which is an image I clung to as I never had one. The Christian faith is burned deep into my soul/mind and even though I have no “faith” I still find comfort in it’s familiarity. I’m also Heathen and find comfort in the sagas of my ancestors and the images of Freyja, sweet Sunna, and Hel. The Disir I adore. What’s interesting is faith or no faith I’m observant enough to know that there’s things that go bump in the night that a .357 won’t do nothing for. They don’t depend on your frame of mind. They just are.The upshot is I decided to quit being angry. There’s no sense in being angry at myself for being unable to do the impossible. I’m happier. My problems still suck but I don’t feel a maelstrom tearing me apart. I can focus on healing and if that’s not possible I can focus on enjoying what time I have left as.
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