" I think tonight took a lot out of her," Gina nodded."What about you. You gave it everything tonight. You should be exhausted too." Too charged up," she said. "Tonight was something I'd never experienced before. I've felt like I was high on something." I know what you mean. I felt the same way." Yeah," she smiled at me. "I got that. You gave it everything tonight, Ed. I mean everything." I was feeding off the crowd." I know. So was I. But I was also feeding off you." Me?" Uh huh. Ever since I had that melt-down a while ago, you've been a different guy on stage." Different how?" More confident. More powerful. More in control. Sexy." Sexy?"She nodded, looking at me with narrowed eyes. "Yeah. Sexy. Like you were projecting sex. Fran and I have been working on getting some personality in our act. You hardly need to do anything and yet you put out that message. I was watching those young girls in the front rows and they had their eyes fixed on you." Huh. Maybe I should have hung around. Most girls would have gone straight to the police, or to a hospital, or to their parents. Most girls would have done something, and I don't think I've ever met a girl who would have considered obeying the rules and commands her rapist had given her. But me? Well, those rules and commands were all I could think about during the walk home.He wanted me to stop wearing underwear. Strange, embarrassing, but ultimately not that big a deal, I told myself. I mean, I could keep that a secret if I was careful, so what was the harm? He'd also told me to shave my pussy. Again, I considered this pretty strange, but some of my first thoughts after leaving his store involved which of my brothers' razors I should steal in order to do the deed. Since I had no hairs under my arms yet, and was also too young to have hair on my legs, razorblades weren't part of my usual hygienic repertoire. All of my brothers shaved, though. So while most girls would have been trying to decide between calling the cops.
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