Audrey called out from behind the bar, “Have a nice evening.” They all turned and saw the mischievous grin on her face. Jerry took hold of Ian’s hand and called back, “We will.”Billy followed them out. He felt nervous and then when he saw Ian’s hand pull away and grope Jerry’s bum he grew excited once again. ** Jerry bought steak for dinner. Billy liked fillet steak and it so happened that it was Ian’s favourite as well. She made a point of emphasising the fact that they had similar tastes in food and wine. Billy’s favourite wine, Chateauneuf du Pape, was also a favourite of Ian’s and there were two bottles uncorked on the dining table. When she asked them both how they liked their steaks cooked she laughed when they both said ‘medium rare’.“So alike you two are, aren’t you,” she commented.Ian put his arm around her hip and slid his hand up and down the red silk material of her skirt; it moved with his hand. Billy already knew that she was wearing stockings having caught a glimpse. "Stand up," he gestures to me. "I want you to take off everything you're wearing below the waist. Now."Shit, okay, so this is happening. I knew it would and some part of me wished he'd just get it over with, but it's still weird. Immediately I can feel the beating of my heart against my ribcage, my pulse racing, that sensation that sends shivers and goosebumps down my spine ... is this why I'm doing all this? I can't give myself an answer. My fingers shake just a bit as I reach down and pull my sneakers off, tossing them to the side. I wasn't wearing any socks, so that leaves me pressing my bare feet to the rough, dusty concrete once I stand to remove the jeans. Somehow, that grounds me to the reality of what I'm doing - so much more than anything else has until now. The sharp grit, bits of debris of the decaying building dig into the soles of my feet, making me squirm. Vulnerable, bare ... about to become a whole lot more so.I try not to think about why I'm undressing. I just.
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