Boldly, Maureen bent down to touch the leather shoes. They were black and shone brightly and there was the scent of newly applied polish.Polishing the statue’s shoes was one of the duties of the strange old man.She lowered her head and sniffed. The smell was unmistakable: Anne Boleyn’s shoes had just been polished. Maureen stifled a giggle, then frowned. The strange sound!Absently, she lifted the satin skirt and stared at the perfectly formed, silk-shod legs. What other ministrations did William perform for the statues?She lifted the skirt higher, saw the garters that seemed to cut deeply into the synthetic flesh as they held up the hose. Maureen touched the naked foam-rubber thigh-flesh. It was smooth and soft and slightly moist.It was a moment before she realized the bizarre fact. Moist!The blood drained out of Maureen’s face. What had old William been doing to the replica of Anne Boleyn?Her hands trembled as she lifted the skirt to the statue’s waist; then she swayed back, feeling. Somehow, I couldn’t get the notion of romancing Sharon out of my mind. The strangest part was that I wasn’t thinking of romancing her just because she said that an oaf like me wouldn’t know how, but because I wanted to romance her. Somehow, I had stopped thinking of her as a nasty bitch who just happened to be an awesome lay, and was actually thinking of her as maybe a girlfriend. Not only did I want to romance her, but I wanted to mean it. Too bad there was the little problem of her hating my guts. Me not thinking of her as a nasty bitch didn’t mean that she wasn’t a nasty bitch, a complete and total bitch. Then again, maybe she was a total bitch because I expected her to be a total bitch, and treated her like she was a total bitch. Well, I needed to get my head out of the clouds, because I have a project paper due tomorrow, and thinking about Sharon isn’t going to get it done! Wednesday morning: Ughhh! I managed to knock out that paper last night, but it sure wasn’t easy: it took.
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