’ He started to rub the inside of my palm as the tears welled up in my eyes. I went on to explain about the accident. He listened, never taking his eyes off of me. I talked until I was sure I wasn’t making sense any longer. When I was done, I let out a deep sigh and looked down at the table. ‘Some days it’s easy. Some days I can really accept what happened and know that she’s in a better place, watching over me. But other days, I want to scream. I feel like punching the wall.’ I nodded. I knew the feeling all too well. ‘I’m sorry, Sydney. I let you in and pushed you away all at the same time.’ I opened my mouth to respond, but he continued. ‘That day that you came over?’ I nodded. ‘That would have been our two year anniversary.’ Eric finally made sense to me. I hoped that I made sense to him now. I rubbed my thumb over his. A comforting silence surrounded us. I had so many questions, but not the energy to ask them. Eric leaned across the table and softly rubbed his fingertip. “She… you… look so female though.” Allison was putting the pieces together, the smaller breasts, the fact that she was always in a skirt or otherwise covered.Scarlette now back in her clothes and sitting on the bed again.“She has been on hormone therapy for years. Steele and I and others have worked with her extensively. We have offered to get her a sex changed, a standing offer, but she is not ready. Partly due to her own desire for shame.”Allison felt like the last part about ‘shame’ was supposed to clear things up, but made things more puzzling.Scarlette jumped in “I like being humiliated, it turns me on, makes me feel noticed. Being used for other’s pleasure makes me feel sexy.”Allison had heard the term ‘to each their own’; this drove the point home, hard.“Scarlette is still the sweet girl that you met and walked into this room with.” Lacey explained. “If this is too much, let me know and we will all understand. I bring this up because she and Tasha will be extremely and.
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