"Am I?" she replied with wide, innocent eyes. She looked amused.Then she shifted to sympathetic. "Oh, baby, don't be so silly! We'retwo girls going out for an evening of fun, that's all. Fully equipped,that's all! If you meet someone and decide to go all the way with him,you wouldn't want to get pregnant, would you?"Of course, she was joking!"You look fine, and this is obviously what you need to do, your nextstep, what you've wanted to do but lacked ... courage or confidence todo on your own. To be a girl where other people see you and assumethat's what you are and treat you accordingly. To act out and enjoythat whole different sense of yourself, until you feel as authenticbeing feminine as ... the other thing you act out. Maybe moreauthentic! You do have certain distinctly feminine desires and traitsto display, after all." She looked at the cleft formed by my boobslong enough for me to notice, then looked at me with a pleased smile."I want you to be exactly what you are,". “Why can’t you just love me?” he yelled. He was angry, but underneath that he sounded genuinely hurt. He honestly didn’t understand why I didn’t love him. Why stealing me away hadn’t won my heart and obedience.“This isn’t the way you get someone to love you Clyde,” I whispered. He roared in anger again, slamming his good fist onto the wood just inches from my head.“I’ll make you love me…I’ll make you beg me…” I heard the sound of his belt unbuckling and I started to panic. I wasn’t sure what his intentions were until he tilted my hips up and I heard him spit. I felt something cold press up against me. I cringed as I realized what was about to happen and knowing there was nothing I could do to stop him. There was no easing, no gentleness as he rammed his full hard length into me. The pain was like nothing I’d experienced before; none of the abuse I’d suffered up until that moment compared to the sharp slicing pain that spread through every nerve in my entire body. It felt like he was.
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