When she was not feeling well, she come to one of us female charges and tell us, “I’ll give a fifty-fifty split to you for spreading your legs for this asshole. Remember it is cash up front and make sure the prick is wearing a condom because I don’t want to explain a swollen belly to child services. This is a respectable foster home.”It almost made laugh to hear her spiel because she was so far out in her junkie world that she must have thought her words made sense.I did take her up on that offer because I needed the dough for some cosmetics. I was not inclined to do any shoplifting because I had seen some young girls get into a bad blackmailing situation just for slipping some lipstick or some eye shadow into their bra when they thought nobody was looking.My new chaotic world in the country was made even more confusing by the sudden introduction of two more “fosters”.They were twin sisters just under the line of “jail bait” and they had been passed around so many foster homes that. M... morning and I'm n... n... neverrr gonna SEE you again!" And thenall hell DID bust loose. I cried like I've NEVER cried in my wholelife! Great big, huge gulping sobs escaped from deep inside me and Isoaked his shoulder with my tears. "W... w... whaaat am I gonna dowithout you? I d... d... don't know enough about being Holly yet! I...I... I can't DO this without you, Eric! PLEASE, don't LEAVE me!!!" Andfrom there, all I could do was sob into his strong shoulder, holdinghim as close as I could.He didn't say anything for quite awhile. He just held me tight andstroked my head and shoulders lightly, reassuringly, while rocking backand forth with me. I felt so embarrassed to be seen this way by him,but at the same time, I felt safe somehow, held close in his arms whileI cried. I don't know how long we stayed that way. Later Eric told methat he held me for almost an hour before I finally cried myself out.Then, he told me later, he'd laid me down and covered me with a blanketand had left.
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