The first hillbilly said “My wife is so dumb, yesterday she dragged home a brand new washer and dryer, and we ain’t even got electricity!” The second hillbilly said “My wife is stupider than yers, yesterday she brings home a new dishwasher, and we ain’t even got runnin’ water!” The third hillbilly said “My wife is even stupider! Yesterday I was in the kitchen and I saw her purse on the table. Everything was spilled out of it and there was a bunch of rubbers layin’ there ... and she ain’t even got a dick!”At a wedding party recently someone yelled “All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living”. The bartender was nearly crushed to death.I heard a story about a guy who got a call from his doctor the day after a visit. From what I gathered, the doctor says “I hate to tell you this, but I have bad news and worse news”. Dude asks what the bad news is, doctor goes “you have 24 hours to live”. Dude asks in a terrified voice what the worse news. ” In the background I heard a high pitched buzzing.“What’s the sound I’m hearing?”“It’s a vibrator.”My cock had already come to attention and I slipped my underpants down as I asked “What’s it vibrating?”“My pussy, right now it’s vibrating my pussy as I think about our date tonight, would you like to hear it?”Before I had a chance to reply, the buzzing became louder and I could hear a slippery sound I realized was her other hand rubbing her clit. I began stroking my own cock as well. The buzzing became dimmer and her voice replaced it as she said, “Did you like hearing that?”“Yes”“I liked you hearing it too. Did you enjoy our date tonight?”“I’m still enjoying it”“Point taken, me too. Before I climax, which isn’t going to be a very long time at all, I want us to tell each other a secret.”“What kind of secret?”“What kind? The nasty kind, you silly, the kind you’ve never told anyone ever”“OK” I said, stroking faster, “Who goes first?”Her voice was unsteady as she replied, “I will, I’m no.
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