Sue had not even told her husband of those. She felt guilty even today for holding those back from him. He had been her everything and it pained her deeply to recall his suffering as his strength drained away from the radiation and drugs used to keep him alive. But in the end it hadn't mattered as the cancer took him away, leaving her alone to raise her two children.Now they were all that mattered and she had vowed to protect them and raise them with love. A devoted mother, Sue seldom dated and her sex life consisted of her fingers and a toy tucked away in the back reaches of her bedside table.On the nights when her yearnings became strong, she would usually pleasure herself while recalling her husband's touch and warmth. But sometimes those old secrets would bubble up and she would find herself back in her childhood bed, a young teenager discovering feelings and desires with the help of her high school love.That her love had been her best friend, classmate and a fellow girl scout. And I hate it! I pray that I can forget it, but so far my prayers haven't been answered.Enough! It was done and it was over. Stop wishing and saying sorry over and over. It doesn't help anything! And stop waiting for fate to come along and punish you so it can then forgive you! God doesn't punish the guilty and reward the innocent! That was for stories and books. In the real world, innocents like Carmine pay the price for the guilty like me. I stayed home, free to come and go as I pleased. Carmine was locked up for trying to protect what was his. Hugo got off scott free taking something that didn't belong to him and paying no price. Sure he got beat up, but a beating wasn't much to sacrifice for taking what wasn't his to take. And I paid no price at all, unless it was the price of losing the man I loved, but when I think of it that way, the price I paid was actually pretty stiff. Maybe there was something to that. Maybe God did punish the guilty!Now that he called, I had to tell.
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