When Launching the Tadpoles, don't be a cheap ass and just spit in your hand. If you're going to be Greasing the Flagpole, at least take a little pride in what you put in your hand.Now, once you've decided to Mind Your Own Business, and, if necessary, have acquired the needed lube to Operate the Pump Action Porridge Gun, then technique comes into play.It's not necessary to Beat Your Meat Like it Owes you Money. Anybody can Flog the Log, Spank the Monkey or Perform An Assault On a Friendly Weapon. And that will, in truth, Drop your Drips. But masturbating with style ... that's the actual destination here.And speaking of destinations, don't sneak outside at night so your parents or wife won't hear you when you Blow Your Own Horn. Hosing Down the Driveway ... in the actual driveway ... is not cool. If old lady Franklin happens to look out her window while you're in the act of Performing Diagnostics On Your Man Tool, she'll have you Applying your Hand Brake in the back of Officer. "So that's the syllable we use for a nickname. Zak." Oh, okay, I'm beginning to understand now." Mr. Andersen said. "The government's power-jealous, so it made it a punishable offense for any American citizen to have contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles, for fear that someone might trade their sister into slavery for a starcruiser and fly it to Washington or something." Even if slavetaking races DID come to Sol III to trade, rather than simply conquering the planet, they would hardly be so daft as to give away their cruiser for slaves. More likely a shuttlecraft, but it would require a great many individuals to be turned over. I think one of the smaller urban zones would have to be emptied to pay for a shuttle, and of course the one making the trade would have to capture the other humans himself..." Zak, he was talking about government paranoia, not rational thinking." Victor said."Ah." Zak replied. "So sorry. I do tend to ramble so." So is this how you make contact with.
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