I love him. None of you seem to understand that. Sometimes, I don't understand it either, but I love him. I have to know he's Ok, that he's walking around in clean clothes and he's getting lots of good food so the booze doesn't kill him too soon. If I did decide to take him back, it would only be something between him and me. If I did though, it would be for me, not for him. I can't sleep at night, Jackie. It's worse than when he was away in the War. Then I knew I couldn't do anything but wait and pray for him. Now, he's not that far away. I know him, the bastard, he's not doing a single thing to take care of himself. He's letting all those years I've spent taking care of him, trying to keep him from drinking himself to death, he's letting it all be for nothing. He'll be dead in a year or two if I don't look after him, and we have to hurry before he's just pissed it all away." Ma, what about your pride, what about what people will think?" Do you really think I care what they think or. "No. I mean, I realized Tanya and I had more sex than you and I did."Shari nodded."Tanya and I had more sex than you and I did too," she pointed out. "Does that bother you?" No," I told her. "You just got together."Shari nodded, smiling softly."So did you, Paul. She's new. You're going to want to get to know her, her body, what she likes. I'm not upset because she got fucked more than I did. This isn't a contest: I'm not keeping score."I looked over at her. Shari never ceases to amaze me. She's only seventeen, but she seems so much older sometimes.I smiled and shook my head."I was afraid you'd be hurt, because I had more sex with Tanya last weekend." We had more sex with Tanya last weekend. She's our new playmate. If you didn't fuck me or touch me at all, I would get upset. If you and Tanya spent this weekend together, doing each other and leaving me out, I would really be upset."I nodded and smiled over at her."So it's okay that I look forward to fucking Tanya, as well as fucking.
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