Sure I ribbed him about Glee Club and singing in the shower earlier, but this was a two time Bronze Star recipient, and a man for whom I had immense professional and personal respect. But here he was on a couch, nearly nude, with his hands between his knees, looking like he would wet himself any second. “Roger, relax,” I said in my most soothing tone. “I know this is a lot to take in, and I understand everything that must be running through your head. I’ve been there, remember? We’ve both gone in harm’s way knowing that our country didn’t approve of our feelings and would drum us out if they found out. Thank God that’s changed! I’ve got a wife, and we’ve had our struggles with finding a balance between my bisexuality and our marriage, and we’ve come through those struggles stronger than before. I’ve got a good business practice that I don’t want to lose, and I’ve found a way to meet that need and still be true to myself. If I can do it, you can too. The important thing is to remember. She had been spending more time with the man who was theleader of the community. He did not blame her because he was notperforming sexually.I did not ask whether that meant that my mother was committing the sin ofadultery. My father did not say, and how could I press him? He seemedresigned to losing her. But for it to be a church leader stuck me thatthis might be yet another example of hypocrisy in our community.My father said he must accept the end of his marriage because, unlike me,he had always known his problem. It was just that until my brotherreturned home and told my story, my father did not believe that there wasanything that he could do about it. Now he wanted to know everything.The transgender group got him a cleaning job - we Amish have few skillsthat are applicable to modern life. But soon, through my connections inthe art world, I was able to get him a job in a craft studio doing finecarving and cutting work, where he had the skills that I suppose werebehind my.
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