He was careful never to lead anyone on, ensuring there were no hurt feelings – and no unexpected ‘consequences’ a few months down the road, either. He just enjoyed himself, without strings attached, and made sure his partners did the same.But after a while, the novelty wore off. With his future so uncertain – squiring wasn’t something he could do forever, even if he’d wanted, but he’d had no inkling that his father would ever recall him, either – he couldn’t pursue anything more, and he’d had ten years in the Free Marches to have casual, meaningless sex. He really could no longer be bothered; he hadn’t been with anyone for some time before returning to Ferelden, and since the Landsmeet, he’d been simply too busy.He was rusty. He knew he was. But though he may have been out of practice, he remembered his experiences well enough to know that something about this was ... different.Oh, he desired her, there was no mistaking that; for the first time in a long time, his body stirred, his. I just wanted to beme and did not think that it is wrong for a man to be sensitive and intouch with his feelings.I guess I have been a quiet dreamer all of my life. I liked to enjoy thebeauty of roses and the other flowers in bloom. I loved to smell thefragrance of fresh cut grass. I enjoyed the gurgling of a water fall orthe babbling of a brook. Maybe this may make me seem like less of a man,compared to the macho males that were presently holding me captive. Idid not know if I wanted to be a girl either. I did not really believe Iwanted to live like a woman, but I did want to continue to do the thingsI loved to do. I just really wondered why mankind was really hung up onwhat constitutes a man and why if somebody did not follow thoseguidelines was it considered a serious crime. I was being held hostageby a group of men who followed those guidelines and wanted to force me tofall in line with the stereotypical male behavior. I felt that I was allman even though I had a more.
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