I roll a little to ease the pain on my arms, which are folded tightly behind me, secured together across the small of my back with cable ties. My legs are bound separately with more of the unyielding plastic, but with ankles tied to thighs, thus legs folded, I cannot move even enough to fall off this bed or out of the cloying sheets that cover me. The darkness is complete here, and my breath is laboured through the tight rubber hood with its single pinprick breathing hole. I try to crawl, seeking fresh air out from under the heavy blankets, but they are holding me down, securing me in place. I try to calm myself, try to stifle the panic in my mind, and it is like this I stay, unmoving and focussed on breathing gently enough to live, my limbs aching in their bondage. How long I don’t know, but I mange to dream a little. I see him watching TV below me. And then like some out of body experience, I see myself pinioned here, unable to flee, unable to resist, simply awaiting him like the. My Dad had said, "Now you are eighteen, you’ve become a man. Now you’re off to College and away from home for the first time." Then he decided it was the appropriate moment to give me a lecture on the birds and the bees and girls and boys and sowing my ‘wild oats’ and taking precautions and all that. Trouble is, I had never actually had a ‘proper’ girlfriend and I was still a virgin. Almost unique in my year! So off I went, to a tiny room in the halls of residence, which became my new home. There were parties and girls everywhere but somehow I wasn’t part of the right scene, so it was all happening around me in a parallel universe. There was another ‘loner’ in my hall nicknamed, ‘Dopey’ Derek, for no apparent reason except he kept himself to himself and didn’t bother anyone else, so I dreaded to think what they called me! Things weren’t all bad at college; there was Lauren, Miss Gregg, one of our teachers! She was just fabulous, word had it she was twenty nine but who was counting?.
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