The truth would have killed her.You see, I never used it for cleaning.I discovered love at thirteen.As a rule, thirteen year old boys are horny and desperate. Some boys are lucky; they're pimple-free and look like Jesse McCarthy. For the rest of us, it's a different story. It's a cruel trick of nature that we're at our most sexually active when we're least likely to get laid. All those hormones, all that acne, all that boundless, frustrated energy has to be diverted somewhere. In 1992, I was stuck. I was too shy to talk to girls, I didn't have the guts to steal Playboys, and broadband internet was five years away. And so, like any adolescent boy, I improvised: cushions, mattresses, handkerchiefs, hand lotion... but the best thing was the 1952 Soviet-era vacuum cleaner in the cupboard. Mum had long since quit her cleaning job, and had bought another vacuum cleaner besides, but she loathed throwing anything away. That bakelite cleaner had been gathering dust for five years when I spied. I put my swords away and pulled out small darts. I put one in the head of the largest snake and as it died the rest hissed and rose up. I killed a second one and the last two began a hypnotic sway. I killed a third and the last began backing away.I killed the last one and slowly moved closer to the water. I checked around the spring and then knelt to skin the four snakes before bringing the drama closer. The male nudged the snake bodies to the female and she hissed softly before snatching them up. I let the drama drink and filled my water bottles before mounting again. It was an hour before I stopped against the side of a ravine.I unsaddled and fed the drama dried meat before having them lay down. I positioned my gauze tarp and moved under it to sleep through the day. I woke to the shifting of the drama and looked up to see dark clouds. I quickly broke camp and put the packs on before moving out of the ravine. I led the drama up the side of the ravine as lightning crossed the sky.I.
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