Fear, pleasure, love and hate control what you do in life, and this brings me to my tale of pleasure, fear, humiliation and hate.My husband and I are free spirited people. Open-minded and inventive describes a number of our past experiences perfectly. We have tried a number of things and believe whole-heartedly in the saying "try anything once". I thought we had tried everything when he suggested an 'experiment'.Conditioned response was what he called it. An automatic physical response to outside stimuli enforced through intense emotion. And the emotion selected was pleasure, specifically sexual pleasure.We had talked a few times about orgasm on demand and I decided that it would ruin the experience, so I knew that was not his idea. When he told me what he planned and his expectations I was appalled, at first. That gave way to curiosity and finally a deep need to find out if it was possible, so I agreed.The first step involved getting a small cow bell, loud enough to be heard. Fast forward to 1987 and I'm in my local video store. I muster up the courage to browse the ADULT SECTION. I see the standard XXX porn. Then I stumble upon black pornstars JEANNIE PEPPER, ANGEL KELLY, NINA DEPONCA, PURPLE PASSION, SAHARA and others. I nervously grab the boxes that are on display and view the back covers. I scan the images vigorously til the point of erection. I then take what seems to be hours deciding on which video to rent. I make a decision and grab a movie that has an "actor" dressed up like Dracula. Feeling that I made a really wise choice, I proceed to the counter and plop down the box. The clerk says, " I see you like the long pornos". I nervously shake my head in agreement as he retrieves the videocassette. I pay my rental fee and head on home. That evening I slide the tape in the VCR and press play. I see the title card and prepare for a two hour jack-off session. To my chagrin its a damn softcore European film in subtitles. I was clearly disappointed in my.
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