Could this tiny, tiny shriveled emptiness be the same man who had inspired all that fear, all that shame, for all those years? The focus of that awe-filled fear of ‘something to cry about’? The source of all the shriveling insults, searing satires, and sharp, sudden, slaps in the face? Jeff forces his mind to fix on those long-gone summer seasons, on he all day jaunts to the beach, on the raucous, joy-filled family Christmases, gifts piled high, on the walks to feed the ‘polly’, on the baseball games and bike rides and cotton candied carnivals. His father’s eyes pop suddenly open. At seeing Jeff, his face immediately breaks into a smile so broad, so wonderfully spontaneous, that Jeff is moved by the love that shines there. His father is glad to see him! A large equally radiant smile breaks onto Jeff’s own face. And all the abuse of all the years, all the arguments, all the dark shame, is washed away from the souls of both these men, in the brilliance of that single radiant smile.. " I was like yeah right! What we discussed next would change my mind on the whole subject. "Arieanna", told me that seriously speaking and in all honesty, that if I really wanted her to sleep with someone else then she would, but I would have to deal with the consequences. I told her that I didn't expect her to fuck a guy bareback. She let me know of other consequences, like other people finding out or me finding out that I really DIDN'T want her to sleep with someone else after she actually did. She didn't want me to resent her for doing something that I wanted her to do. My main concern was that I didn't want to lose her. I just wanted her to fuck not fall in love. She said that falling in love would not be a problem but for all she knew she might actually enjoy it just not to the point of loving. She also said that she might even resent me for it. I asked her why? But she couldn't quite explain it. She just summed it up with she had no clue how she would react or behave after she.
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