" Clare gasped. I looked at her, and then turned my gaze on Sally who was blushing an even deeper red. Susan didn’t help the colour of her daughters face when she continued. "I spanked Sally on Saturday because she came home very late from shopping without telling me, and was then very short with me when I asked her about it.” Then Susan seemed to remember something else about the event. She turned to my daughter and said “actually, Clare, you met her in town and came home together and were also a bit abrupt with me.” Susan turned her gaze back to me and continued “anyway, I waited for Clare to go home and then took Sally’s knickers down, put her across my knee, and gave her a good hard spanking." Susan turned to he daughter and said “didn’t I Sally” with a smile, not a malicious one, just as though it was a fond memory. An even redder faced Sally said “yes Mum, you did, a very hard one I seem to recall.” I looked across at Clare and fought to keep a straight face when Susan asked. .. He does not ‘GET LOST ALL THE TIME’ - He ‘INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.’4. He is not ‘BALDING’ - He is in ‘FOLLICLE REGRESSION.’5. He does not act like a’TOTAL ASS’- He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.’(Loved this one!)6. It’s not his’CRACK’you see hanging out of his pants - It’s ‘TROUSER CLEAVAGE.’This is likely a repeat but it is worth a re-read“As good as this bar is,” said the Scotsman, “I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there’s a wee place called McTavish’s.The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he’ll buy the fifth drink.”“Well, Angus,” said the Englishman, “at my local pub in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two.”“Ahhh, dat’s nothin’,” said the Irishman, “back home in me favourite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they’ll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you’ve had enough drinks, they’ll take you.
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