Long story short, I decided that I must see what it's like.Where to look, I did what others do and went online. I went to one of the popular gay websites and looked for a nice older man, in shape, nice cock and someone who would be patient with a newbie. I found him and we messaged back and forth several times before I said what the hell. We made arrangements to meet after work one day so off to his apartment I wentI can remember thinking that "I'm really doing this, I'm really on the subway heading to a hot older man's place to suck his dick". I was nervous and excited but I was not gonna back out. I got off at his stop, went to his building and up to his place. The doorman buzzed me up and I kept thinking, 'the doorman must think I'm heading up to be this guys' play toy like some common whore' and I gotta say that it turned me on!He met me at the door as I got off of the elevator and immediately I was attracted to him and felt comfortable by his warm smile. His place was. Once she had me in her mouth, she was able to get me in her bed, and we had sex. I hated myself… But then I let it happen again just a couple days before the wedding. I reached out to her, maybe it was cold feet or pre wedding jitters but at least this time it was by choice, or more like weakness. I went over and fucked my aunt one last time. Telling myself that this was me sewing my wild oats before the big day. It was great and that made it hard to walk away from, but when I left I begged her not to talk to me again, and to this day she never has. This is all true. I ended up going to therapy about it. I was disgusted with myself for having sex with relatives. But for a long time I regretted ending things with them, especially Andrea (mostly because she was closer and more accessible), therapy helped give me the fortitude to stay away. To this day I still find myself thinking of calling her, but the longer it’s been the easier it is to resist. Writing erotic- fiction has been my.
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