Be still my heart. In the back of the cab I remember laughing to myself and repeating over and over, “Oh my god. I can’t believe I’m doing this.”I was completely sober, and here I was being driven to a bar that I had never been to, alone at 12:30 at night. No one even knew I had left. As I was pulling up, I could see some women spilling out of the club onto the back patio. Another shot of fear coursed through me. I paid the driver, who was smirking when he said "good luck", and took a deep breath.At the door, I knew I would have to show my driver's licence and pay the £15 cover for u******e patrons. I was prepared for all this because I had practically memorized the club’s website. What I wasn’t prepared for was the beating in my chest, the wads of cotton that seemed inexplicably to be filling my mouth, and the sudden sweatiness of my palms.The woman checking for IDs lazily reached for mine. Suddenly my fingers wouldn’t work. My hands seemed to have grown three sizes, or maybe my. "I speak on behalf of all of us when I say that we want to see youwith waist length hair. You are already a beautiful girl and I'm proud tocall you my daughter." Same here," said Julia."Best thing to do, Jessica, is not to worry about it," said Helen. "Justthink about all the nice things that are going to happen soon." Yes sis. Like being a bridesmaid," said Kelly. "Or just being my sister."Jessica couldn't help but smile. Her life had improved loads in the pastfew months. * * *At school, Jessica found her greatest support in Rachel. Just like Jessica,she had been eager to feel her hair on her shoulders."My mommy is sorry for making me have short hair," said Rachel thefollowing day. "I felt like a boy with it so short." You can understand how Jessica felt then," said Kelly."It must be horrible having that thing between your legs?" said Rachel."It is," said Jessica. "And be quiet!" Sorry," said Rachel. "But if it means having to wait till next year for myhair to reach my waist, so.
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