When she saw the guy had Alli pinned down, she picked up and shovel and started beating him with it. I guess even as small as Nikki is, no one messes with her kid. After mom hung up, she gave me the gist of what is happening there at the farm. I guess the house needs a lot of repairs, but finding credible people to do such work is hard around that area. Mom asked if I could do anything like that. Since it was things like replacing a roof and some general repairs to the outside and inside, I said I could. She then said Nikki was willing to pay me a good wage, plus room and board, if I wanted to come help her out.I thought it over for a while and decided, since work was hard to come by, that I had nothing better to do. Plus, it would give me an opportunity to get out of the house, and sort of be on my own. Since being back, I sometimes felt like an intruder, even though it was where I grew up.Once I told mom I would do it, she hugged me, then thanked me. She then said I should take. She was surprised at how many there were, but as I said, it didn’t bother her.“And I know she told you that she had never had sex with Jonas. I know, because she told me, that she was never going to have sex with anyone but you, unless, finally, you two decided that you couldn’t be a couple. She didn’t tell Jonas that, but I am pretty sure he knew that the only way he could have her was if you were no longer there.”“I’m struggling so hard to be the person Birgit wanted me to be. But it’s difficult; it’s really difficult.”This led to another bout of tears and Karin holding me tight, rubbing my back.“You’re only sixteen,” Karin soothed. “You have a long way to go before you need to worry about that. Be who you are. You’re a good person. You love without reservation and give yourself to people. You get hurt, but you’re willing to take that hurt from them onto yourself and help them. You need to let others help you.”“I do have people who help me, it’s just so difficult,” I sobbed.“It is.
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