"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband."Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark."Where are you?" asks the husband."Over here on the swing," replies the drunk.These are compliments of Chuck One night outside a small town in Minnesota, a fire started in the local chemical plant. In a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.When the volunteer fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give $50,000 to the department that brings them out intact."But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.Soon more fire departments were called as the situation became desperate. As firemen arrived, the president shouted out the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company's secret files.A lone siren was heard as another fire truck. My older sister Becci turned into a real bitch when she reached her teens; as Daddy’s little princess she could do no wrong. We’d gotten on well enough as siblings until she started at junior high, and then she suddenly changed. I’ve never understood why; I don’t know whether it was the onset of puberty, or whether she made some new friends who influenced her, or something else. Whatever the cause, suddenly I was the embarrassing brat of the little brother and the butt of all her complaints and bullying. Pretty much every time we sat down for a meal, she’d moan to our parents about something I had or had not done. If I was watching something on TV, she’d grab the remote and start flipping channels, purely to be nasty and stop me from doing what I wanted. If I made myself a sandwich when I got home from school, she ratted me out to Mom for raiding the fridge. Jeez, I was a growing lad of nine, I needed to eat often. After a few of these events, I kept out of her way as much as I could.
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